How would you deal with your world falling apart?

It’s been a few days since Brooklyn sent that message. A few days since he told Millie they had decided to call it quits because it was too difficult. Surrounded by all his loved ones, it was just too difficult. She was jealous of him now. Jealous at how he knew the bumps in the road were coming every time he drove. Jealous at how he knew who was on the other side of the door from the sound of footsteps. How he’d always know who would be at the bar when he finished his shift. He’d only be a couple minutes away from home. But still…he couldn’t do it anymore.

How would you deal with the world you left falling apart? How would you cope being in another world, alone, as the stars fell out of the sky?

♡❆♡❆

“Oh my-” George was stunned as he opened the door. “Millie you look- what the fuck!” he moved to let her in but only after looking her up and down and blinking to make sure he wasn’t seeing things. “Who did you kill to look like that?” Millie had dressed herself to the nines for the most boring study date with a gay man. She’d followed a YouTube video and cut herself bangs. Her hair had been dyed black. She’d bagged a wardrobe’s worth of make up from Boots and spent the last few hours sketching a perfect cat eye and painted her lips a shaded crimson. Atop her little black ensemble sat a daring Cruella-styled fluffy white parka- faux fur of course. George still couldn’t believe what he was seeing. “Get your ass in here before your pimp sees you.”

George was Millie’s only friend. To be fair to everyone, Millie still felt too shy. It wasn’t a reflection on the people of Bath. George made the effort to befriend Millie after having labs together. He, being completely hopeless at their subject, offered tall tales about boys and booze in Bristol. All he asked in return was constant help with his lab books and the hand of one of Millie’s Canadian friends.

“Ok what’s going on with me…ok I think the guy that makes my Pret is in love with me. He gave my coffee to me for free today again. I still haven’t done the thing Mel wanted me to do for the society meeting. Honestly I just read a fuck ton of politics articles and realised I chose the wrong degree. What happened to you in the last two days that made you want to-” George froze, stuck trying to find the right word. Slay? No, too overused. Serve? Potentially. ”Give…Rich-I-Just-Killed-My-Old-Husband” he cocked an eyebrow.

Brooklyn broke up with me Millie thought. The words were felt on her tongue and too large to fit through her throat.

“I just got bored.” she smiled.

“Can you do me a favour? Walk in front of Iris and hopefully she’ll fall in love with you and do something about it. She still hasn’t told Carol.” he rolled his eyes. Millie’s turned towards the door.

♡❆♡❆

After giving Iris a pep-talk about how she should go for it with Carol and lectured George on the ins and outs of covalent bonding, Millie was walking home. Her cat eyes were smudged from rubbing at her crying eyes, nose sniffling as she walked under the Christmas lights. She looked up several times to see clouds, projections of dark blues and deeper purples painting the sky. She was glad it had worked on George and Iris enough. ConfidenceBelief in love. She’d convinced both of them she still had it.

Millie’s walk quickly turned to a wander. She walked past all the Christmas market stalls, the couples holding hands, the buskers singing Johnny Be Good. The city of Bath really came alive at Christmas. She hated it.

Taking a turn around Moles, then a left, then a random alleyway, then through a car park, Millie didn’t know where she was going. She was restless. She was angry. She was sad. She went through a hill. She walked past the crescent. She was confused. She was tired. She walked through the gardens. She was lost.

She walked towards the voices and the source of a few lights. Turning a corner she found an ice rink: professional couples skated after each other. A few kids were pushing each other on the red thing. Someone fell. Hard. Her initial curiosity turned sour seeing that. Why would she put herself on that ice just to get hurt? She turned around and pulled out Google Maps. It was time to go home.

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