Agony Aunt: Minerva Answers All Your Questions (n°4)

Welcome back readers! March is in full swing, and spring is well on its way. Exam results have been released and it’s time for us all to face the music of our degrees… I hope they went as well as you wanted. As we are well into the second semester, I expect that you are all working terribly hard. However, for now it is time for you to spend a few moments of procrastination listening to your auntie… 

I can’t stop stalking my ex on Instagram. How do I stop?

Oh, reader, this is all too common in our age of social media and new-fangled technology. We’ve all learnt to become obsessed with each other, and this can be damaging in so many ways. But let’s tackle this one first. Keeping up with your ex’s every movement and torturing yourself through your own phone is only detrimental. You simply do not need to do this to yourself – agonising over whether that foot in the background is a new partner etc. etc. etc. We create new heartaches for ourselves when we do this. We all do it, but it can be painful. So, get ready for some revolutionary advice: 

Block. Them.

It will be one of the best things you ever do and so cathartic. It’s time to get on with your life and make the most of it! That does not include sitting around staring at your phone screen crying over your ex’s dinner that they’re eating with someone else. Believe me, it really is that simple. Unfollow, block, move on. Go out into the world and have some fun. Focus on yourself – you are far more important.

It’s dissertation season and I have no motivation to write it. It just feels like such a big mountain and I don’t know what to do. 

Honestly, same. I am horrendously underqualified to be offering advice on this one – but here we go anyway…

It’s true, it is a mountain of work to complete. But the more you climb the less distance you have to go. It will get done; they always do. It’s just a matter of making things easier for yourself. The more you get done now, the less there will be to panic about later down the line as we approach due dates. (The irony of me writing this now, weeks after my lovely editor asked for it does not escape me. But darlings, it’s the age-old proverb – do as I say not as I do!) The best thing you can do for yourself is to get on top of your essays/projects. I can tell you from first-hand experience that last-minute all-nighters are no fun. 

I’m scared of losing my friends once I leave uni.

Another common fear! Your friends are likely to all be feeling this in one way or another. When we finish university everyone ends up doing something different and taking themselves on their own path, yourself included. Good friends will always be there, and if you do lose your friends purely due to geographical circumstances, then perhaps they aren’t the ones. But if they are, they will definitely hang around for you. Make an effort to ensure that you see each other regularly. If that isn’t possible, the internet is a glorious invention and you could always schedule regular video calls – I know that with COVID we are well acquainted with those. At the end of university, it’s inevitable that things will change, but think of it as an evolution as opposed to a backwards step.

Right! It’s time for me to sign off and take my own advice to get cracking on my dissertation… 

All my love and do look after yourselves, 

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