Agony Aunt: Minerva Answers All Your Questions (n°3)

Welcome back, readers! I hope that you had a glorious and restful ISB. I certainly enjoyed mine. Unfortunately, playtime is over, and it’s time to get back to the grind as Semester Two commences. So, grab yourself a cuppa and buckle up, it’s time to tackle this month’s questions! As February is the month of love, I’m answering all things love and relationships:

I ended up talking to a guy on the way up to SCORE before Christmas, we got on as well as is drunkenly possible, and I really like him. I can’t stop thinking about him and found his Instagram. Should I message him, or have I left it too long?

Honestly, babe, go for it. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, you may never know if he likes you too unless you ask! If you felt a vibe, chances are so did he. You’ll never know unless you try. What’s the worst thing that can happen if he doesn’t feel the same way? The reality of it is rarely as big as the worst-case scenario that you can think of. Have some faith in yourself and pursue what you want! If he’s not interested, you can simply close the chat and move on. I know it’s difficult to believe, but I promise you… it really is that simple. 

How do I tell my friend that they have become boring since getting together with their partner? They no longer want to go out, and when I can convince them to hang out, they’re always on the phone to them. We used to have so much fun together, but now they do nothing interesting…

It’s an age-old problem. People find their people, and more often than not, they find themselves all consumed by their new relationship. This doesn’t mean that you’re less important, or that they love you less. That’s key to remember. 

Unfortunately, you can’t force them to hang out with you, nor should you try. I suggest having a subtle word with them. Don’t have a go at them or their relationship as that’s not going to help at all. Rather, be completely honest about how you’re feeling, tell them you miss them and invite them out. Explain how you want to spend more time together and set up something fun for you to do as a duo – the easier you make it for them to have fun with you, the more likely they are to do it.

At the end of the day, relationships come and go, but good friends are for life. So, remember, they’ll probably come back around, and when they do they’ll need you. Hang in there, love xx

I really fancy my boss – they’re 15 years older than me and married with a child. It would be completely inappropriate, and there’s no way they like me too. How do I get over them?

For starters, dear reader, you wouldn’t be the first one to succumb to such a fixation. However, it sounds like you’re right – perhaps it’s best to let this one go, and move on to *ahem*, more appropriate obsessions. 

So here comes the tricky bit: getting over them. If this is someone you need to work with and see on a regular basis, this becomes significantly more difficult. Distractions are the way forward! Dating apps can be fun, nights in/out with your mates, new hobbies or societies (may I direct you to the SU Groups and Activities pages?), new challenges really. Whatever you decide to do, throw yourself into it whole-heartedly! The important part is moving on with your life and making the most of it, don’t hang around waiting on something you admit can’t happen. Who knows, you may end up finding someone better along the way…

Congratulations on completing Semester One! Your auntie is terribly proud of you. Wishing you the best for Semester Two.

All my love,

Minerva the Agony Aunt

Bath's very own goddess Minerva the Agony Aunt will give you all the advice you need to navigate uni life smoothly.

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