Hello I’m Minerva, Bath Time‘s very own Agony Aunt. Making decisions is tough, let alone when you’re a student busy with lectures, essays and all the trials and tribulations that come with being a young adult in 2021. So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, why not ask your auntie for some advice? That’s what I’m here for after all! This week a few people have written to me, here are my amazing answers:
My flatmate (and best friend) confessed their feelings for me. Can you learn to fancy someone?
While it has been said that some of the best relationships stem from friendships, I would add that this is only when all parties involved are interested. Put simply, if you’re not interested, don’t force yourself. Don’t push yourself into a relationship for the sake of someone else’s feelings, or in the long run you might end up doing more damage. So, before you do anything, ask yourself: are you trying to fancy them for you, or for them? Take some time to think about what you want and need for yourself before you throw yourself into a relationship that you might not be ready for. Should you take the plunge, be extremely careful, remember that you have to live with them for the rest of the year, and as soon as sex is thrown into the mix things tend to get a whole lot more complicated. As many students before you can attest, yours truly included, flatcest is a dangerous game.
I’ve become obsessed with astrological signs and birth charts, to the point where I try and find out a potential partner’s birthday before I get too involved. Is this normal?
I find this question all too relatable… I can tell you straight off that you are not the only one obsessed with star signs, my flatmate and I have spent hours agonising over birth charts. And honestly, what’s the harm? They’re a bit of fun, and hey, we all need to start somewhere. Whether your benchmark is in what kind of music they listen to, or how well they cook, we all have criteria when it comes to our love interests. Why shouldn’t it be astrological? But just be careful, you might find out that they’re a Gemini…
Whilst we’re all here, may I point you towards the horoscope section of this website? I hear that it is spookily accurate… https://unibathtime.co.uk/category/lifestyle/horoscopes/
I’ve recently given up alcohol, my flatmates all judge me for it, and I feel that I can’t have fun with them anymore. What should I do?
First off, a commendable lifestyle change! Giving up alcohol in a student environment is no easy feat. Regardless of the reason that you have chosen to cut booze from your life, do not allow anyone to make you feel bad about it! Your body, your choice. Frankly, we could all benefit from a detox every now and then.
Unfortunately, not everyone gets it, and I’m sorry that you have found yourself surrounded by people who judge this choice. There are a couple of things you can do. Presumably, the ‘fun’ element that you mention refers to alcohol-related activities, pre’s, clubbing etc. A fun thing to do when you aren’t drinking in these situations is to become game master of the pre-drinks: start the game, set the rules, and watch them descend into madness. However, if you don’t wish to be around them at all while they’re drinking, try and get fun things going during the day: flat football is a winner, cinema trips, cook a meal etc. Similarly, there are always fun things happening at the SU. Check out the ‘what’s on’ section of the SU website here https://www.thesubath.com/whats-on/. Either drag your friends along or go and meet new people there yourself! Either way, there is plenty of alcohol-free fun to be had both on and off campus!
Good luck and love to you all,