Written in the Stars – An Astrological Assessment of this year’s SU Officer Candidates

Illustration by Marion Stewart

The stars have aligned, the planets are in order and the moon is in its Waning Gibbous phase: it must be time for the 2021 SU Officer Elections.

Here in my other realm, I have been observing each candidate closely, based on their behaviour and their character in accordance with their birth charts (Zoe Diac knows all). While some placements weren’t a surprise, some signs knocked my metaphorical crystal ball right over. Now, if you’ll bow your heads and breathe deeply with me; let’s do a reading. 

Let’s start with Postgrad. Yes, their age may make them seem wiser if not more learned, but their signs tell a different story. Will Tony’s Scorpio autumnal side bring out the fieriness needed to quash his competition? Or will Sid, with his Pisces placement, use his highly developed emotional maturity to outwit his opponent in time for a tactful cry post-results?

The emotions continue to run high as we venture into our athletic candidates where Elizabeth, with her sharp focus and rigid determination, may also fall victim to another Pisces-esque outburst. Chris’ Taurus sun may well be the cause of that; Tauruses can be as stubborn as they are grouchy, so be on the look-out for two very unhappy Sports candidates. 

Here’s where it gets interesting: both Education candidates are Virgo. In the astrological world, we call them organised; here, you call them pen-pushers. It seems only right, therefore, that the star sign best emulated by a set of highlighters organised by colour, size and nib width is where we find our two candidates vying for dominion over the academic realm. 

Now, Community. I’m a talented fortune teller at best but these signs stumped me. Heleen’s Leo placement should imply a naturally self-focused approach to life, which begs the question: why run for a position based around helping others? Similar to this but on a different end of the calendar year is Meg’s Aquarius; not as tunnel-vision as Heleen is supposed to be, but there’s an arrogance that typically protrudes from that early-year birthday. 

Ah, the presidential candidates. More Tauruses than I can wave a red flag at. Both Annie and Kamakshi, different though they may be, unite on a shared star sign, opening up the possibility of seeing a like-for-like competition to the end (think of it like when the Olsen twins have an argument). Curiously, Rachelle is our only candidate with a Cancer placement in the race: will this characteristic sensitivity shine through in the last moments of this crucial race? Or will they recognise their rivalries’ energies (as Cancers are wont to do) as less in line with theirs and look further afield? 

To be clear: Zoe diac has a three and a half thousand-year-old science on their side, but I will not predict the future nor will I speak into the universe who might succeed in this feat of humanity. Take my analyses with caution; I’m rarely wrong, but truthfully, only time will tell. 

Spiritually yours, 

Zoe Diac x

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