On July 4th, Kanye confirmed the launch of his 2020 presidential campaign, neatly coinciding American Independence Day with his very own divorce from reality.
Kanye’s personal philosophy – perhaps best encapsulated by the quote ‘I am a God… hurry up with my damn croissants’ – has thus far proved fairly successful. This has prompted much soul-searching among us lesser mortals: should we all be backing ourselves more? To find out where you fall on the self-belief spectrum, take the quiz below!
Question 1 – You see your dream job advertised on Linkedin, but you’re nowhere near qualified yet. Do you:
- Feel silly for even contemplating a job so obviously beyond your capabilities.
- Note it down as something to aim for once you’ve got some more experience.
- Skip the application, ring the company directly and tell them when you’ll be starting.
Question 2 – You’re at a karaoke night. Do you:
- Get blackout drunk to steady your nerves before being forced on stage by your friends, mumble the opening lines of Mr Brightside, and then run away.
- Have a couple of drinks, choose a popular belter like ‘I Will Survive’ to get the crowd involved, generally enjoy yourself.
- Take your gold microphone out of its case and treat the audience to a 40-min set of your own music. Say ‘you’re welcome’ and leave immediately.
Question 3 – You’re on a night out. You get chatting to someone, ask for their number but they’re not interested. Do you:
- Apologise, run away crying, go straight home. Your ex wakes up to 14 missed calls.
- Smile, leave them alone, continue with your night. You win some you lose some.
- Tell them at length that they’re making a huge mistake, follow them round the club until they leave, write a song about it.
Question 4 – You get feedback from a recent assignment; you’ve not done as well as you’d hoped. Do you:
- Immediately consider dropping out.
- Look carefully at the feedback, and maybe meet with your lecturer to discuss how to improve.
- Send a 41-page email to your lecturer telling them that you’re ‘the voice of a generation’ and a ‘vessel of God’; ask them if they’d give Jesus a 2:2.
Question 5 – You’re running a bit late for a date. Do you:
- Panic, call them to tell them you’d understand if they didn’t want to see you, offer to pay for the entire evening.
- Send a quick apology text, but you’re not too worried.
- Say nothing; if they bring it up, say ‘you should be honoured by my lateness’.
Mostly 1. – Kanye handle this?? Your self-esteem is worryingly low. Back yourself hun. What’s the worst that will happen?
Mostly 2. – Yeezy like Sunday morning – You’ve achieved the balance between self-belief and narcissism, congrats on being all emotionally healthy.
Mostly 3. – No one man should have all that power – You’ve lost all self-awareness and the ability to feel shame or humility. Time to launch your political career!