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My Dad Wrote A Porno, Season Four: Ready For Rocky

Imagine the famous apple had fallen on your head, instead of Newton’s. The chances of you thinking “what was the force that drove the apple to the ground?” would have been very slim. However, that was Newton’s thinking, and because of him, the world we live in makes much more sense.

Now, imagine your father had decided to pen-name himself Rocky Flintstone and had written a series of erotic novels. I can think of many, many reactions to such scenario:

“Dad, what the hell?”

“This is a joke, isn’t it?”

“You’re disgusting.”

“Rocky Flintstone? Why?”

“Please tell me you haven’t told anyone about this”.

Making a podcast about it is not a reaction I would imagine. Yet that is exactly what Jamie Morton did. He is, indeed, the Isaac Newton of erotica. And that is how Belinda Blinked, Rocky’s pornographic saga, came to life.

Not that there is anything erotic about “My Dad Wrote A Porno”, the hit podcast that is launching its 4th season today. It functions as an audiobook, in which Jamie reads a chapter of Belinda Blinked per episode, along with the commentary from Alice Levine and James Cooper (who have not read the chapters in advance). They witness the unfolding of the adventures of Belinda Blumenthal, a senior executive in a major London company, and of her friends and colleagues. Now, a detailed review would dwell into the nuances of the storyline, but this would risk steering your attention off of the real topic, which is how outrageously-cracking-hilarious the podcast is. In a way (in many ways, as a matter of fact), spelling mistakes, filthy, inappropriate characters from all over the world, and the seeming lack of any knowledge about the human body whatsoever are what makes “My Dad Wrote A Porno” the queen of all podcasts.

The binge-worthy show has accompanied me throughout this summer and I am thankful for its existence just as I am thankful for gravity’s. I was introduced to the podcast in the middle of June, I finished season three two weeks ago and I have waited in agony for today, August 27th, when season four is going to go live. “Porno Day” has officially been scheduled (something that many of my friends frowned upon when looking at my plans for tonight).

No words can explain the extent to which I worship the podcast and its hosts. As a disclaimer, I must say, if you’re actually looking for erotic literature, look someplace else. But if you are looking for something that is never going to bore you, then you have hit the jackpot. “My Dad Wrote A Porno” was capable of substituting music in car journeys, making cleaning shifts at the Edge go much faster, and keeping me company on bike commutes to campus. Once, it started randomly playing (full volume) on the bus; another time, it made me start incessantly laughing at the Sainsbury’s checkout (top tip: never listen to it when you’re at the supermarket). I am not being Duchess-level-dramatic* when I say that it kept me up until unholy hours just to get onto Belinda’s next ridiculous encounter. The commentary the three hosts latch onto in the chapters of Belinda Blinked is what makes the podcast exceptional and, in a way, a production so unique that it becomes invulnerable from any sort of critique. Through judgements about Belinda’s behaviour, personal stories and a fair bit of Ritz Spa Gossip*, they take the piss out of the story before you can and criticise the book for all the sorts of mistakes that Rocky makes before the listener can be put off by them. It is easy, engaging, and unproblematic listening at its peak.

James, Alice and Jamie created a solid fan base of “Belinkers” (a group I am proud to be part of) and, following huge success with the podcast, they started taking the show on the road, with multiple sold-out events, including one at the Royal Albert Hall. The podcast has a sterling reputation for a reason and I invite and urge all of you to find out exactly what that reason is, now that university and stress are about to kick in. In the words of a reviewer, “My Dad Wrote A Porno” is “cheaper than therapy” – and it really is. I have waited for today as a kid would be waiting for Christmas Day: my gift is that I’ll be able to hear the words “Belinda blinked” once again.

 

*Do you want to know just how dramatic the Duchess is? Want to find out what Ritz Spa Gossip is? Make sure you listen to the podcast, available at this link.

Francesco Masala

Francesco Masala is a final year Politics and International Relations Student. He is the Bath Time Web Editor. He can be contacted at su-bathtime-online@bath.ac.uk

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