Adventures In Drug Land

How high can you go? How low can you go? Can you take it to the top? Like you’re never gunna stop? Ah yes, the lyrics to Mr. C The Slide Man’s Cha Cha Slide, a fantastically crap song. But I am not to here to talk to you about that year 8 disco classic, I’m here to enlighten you (well, enlighten is pushing it a bit, but where’s the harm in exaggerating, right?) about the most famous drug, the one that everyone has at least tried once: WEED.

Photo credit: bathimpact

We all know the downsides of weed: Schizophrenia, paranoia, laziness, a floppy dick in the bedroom (guys, come on, we’ve all had that problem one time) and bla bla bla bla. But I don’t want to focus on how weed can be bad for you because where is the fun in that? Lets talk about how being high can be one of the most funny and amazingly-idiotic experiences of your life, whether you try it once or you smoke as much as Snoop Dogg. How am I going to do this? The only way you can: personal experience.

Disclaimer – for legal purposes the rest of this article is entirely fabricated, please don’t arrest me.


I’m 100% sure that everyone has a “Dude! I was so stoned last night that I…” story, and I want to share some of mine to encourage those weed-haters that, really, getting high can be pretty fun. In fact, as you’ll see, it can be REALLY fun.

So. Where am I taking you for this story? THE place for weed, the Mecca of marijuana, Amsterdam. Like most good stories this one starts by sitting in a park; To be precise, Vondelpark. My cousins, older brother and I, needless to say, are all pretty stoned. It looks like my fingers are moving but they really aren’t, I have a smile across my face the size of the Grand Canyon, my eyes are ridiculously red, and, obviously, I haven’t stopped laughing for about a good 20 minutes. We get up and start cycling, with the aim of going back to our hostel located three streets away, but, man, we just fucking cycled for the next two hours straight all around Amsterdam! Can you imagine! But that wasn’t the best part, the best part was what we were seeing around us that we knew wasn’t usually there: the trees were smiling at us, the sun was doing the can-can, the blue sky moving around like a waltz, the people (who all happen to be SO hot btw) were bowing to us like we were royalty. I swear to God, it was like life around us was a Disney movie and we were Aladdin riding on the magic carpet. Insane! (The editor of this paper in his humble opinion suspects this may not have been just weed)

There are so many other stories I could share with you: watching Four Lions in the cinema and being on the verge of getting kicked out because of my laughing, smoking my first joint and hallucinating squares and triangles in my bedroom for an hour, so on so on. Now I’m not saying smoke weed everyday, hell I only smoke weed occasionally because moderation in life is key. But, what I will say to those who are doubtful or scared of trying a joint is this: Don’t knock until you try it. If you don’t like it afterwards then fair enough it’s not for you. However, if you go in with a positive mindset, I’m sure that you’ll have an awesome time like I did. I mean, laughing incessantly with your friends for hours and eating a shit ton of food, what’s not to like?!

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