bite editorial: Something old, something new

It’s been quite some time since your last instalment of bite. If this is anyone’s fault I suppose it is mine. Sorry. I think this is the first issue of the New Year? However my alcohol muddled smoke filled mind is quite bad at these kinds of things so I’m probably wrong.

The theme for this issue is “Something old, something new”. There is also “something something Darkside” but that’s just a failed pun really so just bury it in some dark recess of your mind and forget that it ever happened.

The idea behind the theme is that comparisons are fun, and while you are no doubt comparing your new semester to your old, trying to fuck up less and become the shiny slick professional your mother always knew you’d become, it seems a perfect time to both appreciate the past and then slate the present for being shit.

BananasIn these few months there have been some remarkable career U-turns in Hollywood, with actors such as Steve Carrel and Michael Keaton. As well as this, the Jurassic Park and Star Wars franchises have been dragged back up from their watery slumber for us to crowd around waiting to see if they can cough up the muddy waters of time and splutter back into life.

Outside of film, politicians have been gearing up for the election – which I think means they have started to bitch about each other more. The Sun has stopped Page 3…ish? And music is now exclusively woman ass (maybe there are lyrics, I forget). Books of course are still just books, but we can forget about them, I think they prefer it that way. The past is warm and smells like camomile tea and Horlicks. I like to think a secret council of librarians met in some dark room and unanimously decided to ignore the future. After this they made tea and shuffled off into the dark or wherever librarians are made.

Recently I was reading a short story by Haruki Murakami. I don’t have the book right here so I can’t quote you the passage, but the story was about two childhood acquaintances who had been together at school, and the writer meeting with one of the pair in Italy later in life. Well it wasn’t really about that, but to be honest it’s easier this way so bear with me. Anyway, it starts with a passage about the 60’s and about how the age had some element of excitement, passion or energy which was almost intangible, he then goes on to write about 4 pages about it… hypocrite.

He called the era “A pre-history to late stage capitalism” and the idea is that it was the last era where life was uncomplicated unconnected and un-invasive. Then you could pick something up, turn it around in your hands and have no idea how it worked as instruction manuals didn’t really work back then.

Slowly it seems we transform from a society of actors into a society of watchers, even now you can go on to you tube and watch pewdeee 3.147 or whatever the fuck he’s called play games! Or just as easily you can watch hours of people’s opinions on celebrity gossip, or of gossip on celebrity gossip, soon there will probably be gossip on the gossip on the gossip on celebrity gossip.

Sometimes I think it’s hard to be optimistic when faced with how much kitch is smeared around our lives. But then I remember I don’t really care, and I can always write long wandering complaints in my section in the paper.
If you’d like to complain incessantly and write some trite article, come join impact! Join me, join the darkside…ha.

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